I did a double take recently when I saw an article in Mashable, about feminism and rough sex. Can a woman still be a feminist while liking rough sex screamed the headline. Before I even read the article, my resounding response is “YES!” Followed by: why is this even a conversation? Isn’t it a given that women in this day and age can conduct sexual relationships in any manner they want?
I suppose not. Apparently, we still question women’s judgment, both outside and inside the bedroom. It’s ironic, really, to assume that since the feminist war cry is equality, a feminist will not choose to be subservient in the bedroom.
That’s the key here– that it is a choice and it is consensual. Whether someone likes to be spanked while yelling “yippee” in Darth Vader’s voice is irrelevant to one’s political and social stance because, frankly, it’s no one’s business. Rough sex, and being able to ask for it, even demand it from one’s partner, is what equality is about. Every feminist strives to have a caring relationship where there is an openness about their sexual preferences, and a willingness to meet those preferences. It’s also a cornerstone of a healthy relationship (whatever form that is, whether in a monogamy, or not, with heterosexual relationship or not) to be able to communicate one’s desires to one’s partner.
After all, rough sex conducted in a loving, respectful relationship can help anyone (male or female) push boundaries, explore themselves, and their relationship. And what feminist won’t be on board with that?